Drunken Chicken

Tyson Foods' suspended chief financial officer could make a comeback

Nobody misses John Randal Tyson who was suspended as chief financial officer of Tyson Foods following his June 13 arrest on driving-while-intoxicated charges.

Not one analyst asked about him during an earnings call on Monday, or even expressed the slightest interest in how one of the world’s largest food companies planned to fill one of the most critical positions of any company.

Earlier this year, Tyson, 34, became the youngest executive ever appointed CFO at a Fortune 500 company. But his arrest came roughly a month later with blood-alcohol testing more than twice the legal limit and police releasing his arrest video to media. He’s pled not guilty and is due in court on Aug. 28.

Tyson had promised analysts and investors something like this would never happen again during a Nov. 14, 2022 earnings call.

This was after he’d been charged with public intoxication and trespassing for entering the home of a woman he did not know, removing most of his clothing, and falling asleep in her bed – also captured on police video.

John Randal Tyson booking photo. (Photo Credit: Washington County, Ark. Sheriff.)

Here’s what the fourth-generation scion said on the 2022 call:

“I'm embarrassed, and I want to let you know that I take full responsibility for my actions. I also want to apologize to our investors as I have to our employees. This was an incident inconsistent with our company values, as well as my personal values. I just wanted you guys to hear this directly from me and to know that I'm committed to making sure this never happens again.”

Of course, it had happened before. During his college years, the Tyson was arrested for underage drinking with someone else’s ID, and again for public intoxication, The Wall Street Journal reported in a weekend article: Alcohol, Arrests and Acrimony: The Troubled Legacy of America’s Chicken Dynasty.

Many of us struggle with drugs and alcohol, but not many of us are appointed to C-level positions at Fortune 500 companies. Tyson bagged nearly $3 million in compensation in 2023 at the Springdale, Ark.-based food giant. Couldn’t he afford an Uber?

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(Too many chicken jokes come to mind: Chickens coming home to roost (in a stranger’s bed), chickens crossing the road (and getting pulled over for DWI), chickens running around with their heads cut off (in the C-suite), and then there’s the chicken family pecking order which likely ensures the return of Chickenman one day. … Somebody, stop me!)

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